Most people have a celebrity – or a number of celebrities – who makes their heart beat faster. In the modern era, they’re the people society puts on a pedestal, practically aristocracy or even royalty. They seem charming in movies and TV shows and amazing in sports games. They’re usually among society’s best-looking people and they know how to make a captivated audience laugh during interviews. It’s perfectly normal to have celebrity crushes, but unfortunately, it’s also somewhat common for a celebrity crush to make your significant other feel neglected. Learn to balance your crush with your real, tangible love life and you can have the best of both worlds.
Keep Memorabilia to a Minimum
When you’re a teen, you have all the freedom in the world to plaster your walls with posters and printouts of your celebrity dreamboat. When you’re an adult, it’s not so cute anymore. That’s not to say you can’t have anything to show your love for a celebrity – life-size cardboard cutouts are popular if you have the space, or a movie poster can lend a pop culture art feel to a den or living room wall – but your love for a celebrity should no longer border on obsession. Even though there’s no chance you’ll ever be the next Mr. Jolie or Mrs. Braff, it’s still threatening to a relationship to have so many images of hot guys or women on your wall or other celebrity memorabilia throughout the home. Make it subtler, like perhaps saving a wallpaper on your phone with your crush but keeping your lock screen a photo of you and your sweetheart.
Watch Your Celebrity within Reason
If you love a certain actor, it’s fine to want to see every movie he’s in. It’s also reasonable to watch a TV show your crush is currently starring in or check out every game he plays. Your significant other can get some enjoyment out of these things as well. However, don’t make a point of hunting down every movie or TV show in which your crush starred or watching old games with your crush playing every day or even every week. You don’t want your spouse or partner to roll her eyes because you’re watching yet another thing simply because your crush graces the screen. Once a month is reasonable to watch something older with your crush in it or slightly more often if you have some “me time” when your significant other is off doing other things.
Don’t Be a Super Fan
Maybe you used to be in a fan club – officially or unofficially – for your crush, but when you have a partner or spouse, he should get most of your attention and devotion. Don’t scour Internet forums or constantly post GIFs and images of your crush on your social media pages. Your friends shouldn’t be seeing more pictures of your crush than your sweetheart. Don’t wait with bated breath over the next big news announcement concerning your crush. Live your life. Make your crush an incidental part of a life full of romance, fun, and activities.
Get Relationship Counseling
If your significant other tells you she thinks you have a problem, try to not become defensive. Don’t tell her you know you’ll never be with your celebrity crush and she’s making a “big deal” out of a “harmless” thing. If your s.o. is concerned enough to let you know his feelings are hurt, that means you need to take a step back and reassess the situation. Consider going to couples counseling together to improve your communication levels and see what a third party has to say about the situation.
If your significant other is up for it, roleplay to make intimate moments more exciting. He can be your celebrity crush and you can be his (or whatever other kind of fantasy he has). It may seem silly, but the more you get involved in the fantasy, the more fun you’ll have – and the more secure your partner will feel in your affection for her.
Your spouse or partner is more important than any celebrity crush, no matter how long you’ve pined for a Brad Pitt or a Jennifer Lawrence. At the same time, unreasonable jealousness isn’t a great sign of a healthy relationship. Take a look at the situation and make sure you’re not overzealous with your love for a person who will never be your romantic partner, but if you are keeping it reasonable, consider whether or not you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you to even look at other people – especially people who are no threat at all to your relationship.