How to Hang with Gay Friends at a Gay Club If You're Straight (and How to Eventually Get a Date)

How to Hang with Gay Friends at a Gay Club If You’re Straight (and How to Eventually Get a Date)



Many gay clubs are welcoming to people of all orientations, so it’s not at all uncommon for straight friends of LGBTQ people to tag along and hang out. Gay clubs have their own eclectic vibe, and many straight people report feeling safer and better able to focus on enjoying themselves there than they do in the average bar or nightclub. If your gay friends invite you along, take them up on their offer. You might even find a date if you play your cards right.

Just Be Yourself

Don’t worry so much about romance when heading with friends to a gay club. One of the main reasons straight people, particularly women, go to gay clubs is to avoid the pressure of being hit on all night. Don’t think so hard about romance while at a gay club. Healthy self-esteem is essential for finding the right match for you. Use your time at a gay club to enjoy yourself, take a break from the dating scene, and give yourself a chance to boost your self-esteem.

Be Clear and Casual

You may be hit on by people of the same gender while you’re there—you are at a gay club, after all. Don’t flirt just to boost your ego; be clear but polite right upfront. Keep in mind that telling person after person that you’re straight can be offensive, especially if you’re not being hit on. Taking the proactive approach as if everyone might be considering hitting on you can be offensive, as it plays into the stereotypes that gay people hit on everyone of the same gender. Be clear when asked but don’t just blurt it out; it would even be fine to ask your gay friends to casually inform people during introductions.

Ask About Matchmaking

While you can’t date most people at the gay club—excluding the other straight people and bisexual people who might be interested, of course—you might be the perfect match for somebody’s friend or family member. Make friends at the gay club and let them know you’re single and looking. They just might have the perfect person for you in mind! Mutual friends are usually the best matchmakers because they know you and your date well enough to determine if there would be a spark. Going to the gay club to make friends could one day lead to romance for you.

If you spend time with gay friends at a gay club, make sure you don’t make it all about you. The gay club is a place where many LGBT people feel their most comfortable, most welcomed, and most accepted. While an invitation has been extended to you, it’s your job to just relax and enjoy yourself. If you do, matchmaking might be a natural result.

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