Your wedding day is one of the best days of your life, but it can also be nerve-wracking, as it’s the first step toward your life as a couple. (Even if you lived together previously, knowing you’re married and financially tied together is still a big step.) There may be less “me time” when you see your loved one so much more often and when your income has to go toward shared expenses and you don’t have the extra cash to spend on hobbies you used to enjoy. However, if you give up your hobbies entirely, you’ll grow resentful of your spouse. Learn how to juggle all the things that bring you joy in your busy life as a newlywed.
Carve Out a Small Portion of Your Finances
Most hobbies require at least a little cash – although some, like racing, require quite a bit, and others, like reading, might require nothing at all if you have access to a good library. Regardless of how much you used to spend on your hobby, consider the smallest amount possible you could spend on your hobby each month and still get some enjoyment out of it. Maybe it’s $20 to buy some new crafting supplies. Perhaps it’s $100 to attend some races as a fan and member of someone’s crew, and you’re willing to sell your car to someone else who has more room in his budget.
Whatever amount you decide, make sure it fits comfortably into the amount you’ve budgeted as a couple for entertainment – and that you’re not taking more than your fair share of that money. Even if you’re the higher income earner in the household, it’s not good for the relationship for you to squirrel away several thousand dollars you won’t share with your spouse for entertainment, emergency expenses and savings just because you do pay an equal or greater share of the household’s bills.
Allocate Time for You
You won’t be able to devote time to your hobbies every day, unless it’s something you can do in small snatches of time, like read a few chapters for ten minutes at the end of the day or on your lunch break. Do, however, schedule time for your hobby into the average week. Just an hour once a week can make you feel rejuvenated. You might even devote an entire evening or day when you’re off work to your hobby once or twice a month. Just don’t let your new spouse feel neglected by devoting more than part of a day per week to your hobby, unless it’s something you can fit in throughout the average day.
Make Use of Your Breaks
If you don’t usually see your spouse at your lunch break, unwind while you eat to help recharge your brain in the middle of the work day. Hobbies like reading, gaming, crafting and even watching shows you can load onto your phone or tablet are easy to do in short periods while at work. If you have a 15-minute break, make use of that, too. If you find yourself unable to get anything done during your breaks, consider waking up a bit earlier each morning and getting some hobby time in before you leave.
Get Your Spouse Involved
While there’s no guarantee your spouse will ever be as devoted to your hobby as you are, if you can get him to enjoy himself while participating in your hobby, you’ll have more time to enjoy your favorite things because your spouse will be participating, too. Play a game together. Toss a ball back and forth. Offer to watch one of her favorite TV shows with her if she’ll watch one of yours. If you’re also willing to spend time with your spouse trying out his hobbies, you’ll both find the peace of mind you need to deal with the stresses of life and work.
Encourage your spouse to spend solo time devoted to her hobbies as well – or to take up new hobbies if she was never really passionate about something before. It’ll make your spouse lest likely to resent your “me time.” If he’s not really into anything in particular, even just spending time alone with his friends and family could make for a fun activity while you engage in what it is you love to do. As long as your hobby doesn’t take over your life, engaging in something just for you can make your relationship healthier and stronger.