Being a geek is truly a way of life. It’s not impossible to enjoy spending time with someone who’s not as obsessive as you are about your passion of choice, but you’ll have a more fulfilling romance if you both identify as geeks or share a love for a hobby.
Yet if you’re like a number of geeks, you may also be introverted, shy, or anxious in social situations. Meeting new people is hard enough, let alone dating them. Follow a few tips for dating as a geek and you’ll find the one who’s right for you.
Look for Love at Geeky Sites and Events
Rely on avenues where other single geeks are explicitly looking for someone to date. This way you won’t have to worry about approaching people who may not be single or interested. There are even geek dating sites that can help you find someone specifically interested in your favorite subjects. Conventions often hold “geek speed dating” events in both teen-only and adult-only groups. There, you can meet a lot of singles in a short amount of time. The people you meet may even attend in cosplay and, because they’re your fellow geeks, they may be as nervous as you are. At the very least you might make some friends.
Focus on Building Friendships First
The “friend zone” is a myth. If someone is ever going to be interested in you romantically, they’ll either be interested in you from the start or fall for you as your friendship develops. If they don’t, it’s not the fault of “the friend zone.” It just means you’re not meant to be. So get out there and vow to make friends of all genders with your fellow geeks. Connect on a human level. Even if you don’t wind up dating these people, they may be able to set you up with someone they know. But first, they have to come to trust and appreciate you. Be a kind friend. Don’t fall into the geek trap of arguing over small, inconsequential topics to the point of alienating people. Keep discussions lively but polite and respect other people’s opinions.
Don’t Come on Strong
Geeks are often associated with coming on too strong, sometimes at inappropriate venues. People cosplaying at conventions aren’t looking for romantic attention necessarily, even if they’re in sexy costumes. Keep your flirting to the speed date events and make friends with others wandering the halls. Compliment a person’s talents, tastes, opinions, or intelligence before you make comments about their appearance.
The great news is that you don’t always have to love the same things. It can be enough simply to have a person in your life who understands what it’s like to feel passionately about a hobby. You might play tabletop games while your girlfriend draws comics, but you’ll probably go with each other to fan events, movie premieres, and conventions. Support each other in your passions and you’ll find someone who completes you even more than your hobbies do.